(WARNING: the following story may change or reinforce your opinion of men. If you already hate men, consider this can of kerosene a gift. If you don't, keep in mind this is a story about One Man, not men. This story will make some of you laugh your ass off too.) On the surface, he had a quality we should admire and strive for. Digging deeper it becomes obvious that perhaps caring what other people think of you is not such a bad thing. He never hesitating and missed an opportunity to get a laugh from anyone around. He loved to say or do anything at anyone's expense (especially his own). The resulting circle of friends bent over in uncontrollable laughter fed his unfiltered actions and words. He was a clown with no social constraints or tact. Go to the top of this post. You were warned.
Sister recounted the following story to me about a bartender and waitress she worked with in South Carolina. The story is true.
Great for a laugh, he was not someone anyone should make an emotion investment in.
She was a waitress in the restaurant where he bartended. By all accounts, she was an angel. Attractive, petite, always with a smile and a kind word. How she could start dating someone as callous and indifferent as him was beyond anyone's understanding. She saw the good inside of him, even if he had no regard for what was inside or even around him. Everyone is entitled to mistakes, even angels.
He went out drinking that night with his buddies. After stumbling into his apartment and feeding the drunk hunger with some leftovers in the fridge he called her cell.
"Are you drunk?"
"A little. I really want to see you, can you come over."
She hesitated at first but knew that without supervision it would be nothing for him to hurt himself, his apartment or even jump in a car and be a danger to everyone in his potential path. She told him she would be right over and changed out of her pajamas and hopped in her car.
She was making a rescue call in response to his drunken booty call.
When she got there he was half passed out on the couch. A small smirk emerged from the corner of her mouth. He looked kinda cute and helpless sprawled across the cushions.
"Come on, baby, let's get you into bed"
She had to laugh at herself as her 105lbs tried to help his 190lbs up. He seemed to grasp some consciousness as she finally got him up and heading towards the bedroom. Either he was half awake or grope while sleep walking.
"Almost there, sweetie"
She got him into bed and got his clothes off. He smelled like a brewery run by a brewmaster that smoked three packs of cigarettes a day. There was no call for modesty. She had seen him naked many times in past few weeks. With him firmly planted in bed, she went to his closet and changed into one of his T-shirts. She loved how his shirts coverved everything from her neck to her knees. Exhausted, she got into bed next to him.
Even though he could not even open his eyes, his hands did all the work. With mumbles of something close to sweet nothings he tried over and over to grab and grope her as she fought him off cuddling him as a controlling method.
"Honey, you are too drunk. Sleep it off and we can have some fun tomorrow", she whispered in his ear.
If she could control him for a few minutes longer the beer would catch-up and send him sleeping. After a few more attempts as starting something he was in no condition to finish, he finally succumbed to the haze. After he was safely sawing logs, she drifted off to sleep next to him.
She was startled awake with a healthy dose of his DNA on her face.
Opening her eyes, she found him standing over her with his flacid friend still gripped in one hand. The other hand was defiantly pointed at her. She went to wipe the proof of what he did from her face. The only thing more vulgar than what did was what he then said....
"Next time... you'll FUCK me."
On the surface, he had a quality we should admire and strive for. Digging deeper it becomes obvious that perhaps caring what other people think of you is not such a bad thing.He was fun to have around and always good for a laugh. He did not care what other people thought about him. He was indifferent to how others judged him or his actions. He said and did with no concern what others would think. This makes for a fun guy to go out with on Friday night for beers and laughs. Always saying and doing what many of us secretly wished we had the courage for. He just didn't give a damn.
He never hesitating and missed an opportunity to get a laugh from anyone around. He loved to say or do anything at anyone's expense (especially his own). The resulting circle of friends bent over in uncontrollable laughter fed his unfiltered actions and words. He was a clown with no social constraints or tact.
Go to the top of this post. You were warned.