*Getting ready

*So it begins

1. I ask you to do one effing thing
2. Did you?
3. The socks betray him
4. There will be none of that
5. Leave notes in his shirt pocket
6. Trained in the gentle art
7. Put me in coach
8. Our species may, in fact, survive
9.Swarm Swarm
10.During the wooing
11.BUT not private enough
12.The bottomless appetite
13.The first time we forget
14.This is a nice litmus test
15.To get the ball rolling
16.She invited you back to her place for coffee
17.Mary Magdalene or Eva Braun
18.It will only smell and make you queasy

   Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Fear and Entrapment in Las Vegas

The Tarheels did it! Nice to be at the top of the food chain again after years of poor coaching between when Dean left and Roy came in.

Could not say "No"

I love to play poker and have for over twelve years. Mr. Cooler and I started talking about going out to Vegas for a poker trip. His wife, Miss Smile, wanted to come out as well. No biggie, I love them both and she would make a perfect wingman in Vegas.

Everything was set, the three of us were headed to Vegas!

Then Miss Smile could not keep her yap shut.

Miss Waitress was in and I was in the back room of "Scooby's" (the name we will use for Mr. Cooler's bar where Miss Smile bartends) playing poker.

Miss Smile: "So are you going to Vegas with us?" (WTF?????? SHUT UP!)
Miss Waitress: "Um, you guys are going to Vegas?"
S: "Yea, Hofzinser, Mr. Cooler and I! Hofzinser didn't mention it to you?" (Let's make my life harder while you are at it, Miss Smile)
W: "Nope"

Later she brings it up and tells me she wants to go.

Life Shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.
--Anais Nin

If I had balls I would have said, "no" but it was tough with Miss Smile going. Could not pull the "guys trip" line. Excuses, excuses. I am really being cruel by being a coward with this entire situation.

So we are going to Vegas in two weeks. Tickets bought and reservations made.

In my own head (which is tough to keep upright without a GOD DAMN spine) I have the break-up happening after we get back. How do I do this while inflicting minimum pain to her heart and my ass? I cannot be totally honest....

H: "Um, I am not attracted to you and, um, you constant droning about how imperfect everything is around you makes me want to drain the fluid from my ear canal."

W: "Thanks for being so honest. I hope you find the love of your life soon. See you around at the bar!"

...a guy can dream, right?

there are 1 doodles

At 3:50 PM, Blogger allison said...

[retro comment] So glad to see you eventually clawed your way out of this one. I am hoping later on, you will explain why men don't have the ability to say "no". Reading on...


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