1. I ask you to do one effing thing
2. Did you?
3. The socks betray him
4. There will be none of that
5. Leave notes in his shirt pocket
6. Trained in the gentle art
7. Put me in coach
8. Our species may, in fact, survive
9.Swarm Swarm
10.During the wooing
11.BUT not private enough
12.The bottomless appetite
13.The first time we forget
14.This is a nice litmus test
15.To get the ball rolling
16.She invited you back to her place for coffee
17.Mary Magdalene or Eva Braun
18.It will only smell and make you queasy


   Sunday, April 03, 2005

So it begins

I'm trapped.

Somehow I fell into a relationship. I am not sure how I got here but I want out.

How do you end up in a relationship with someone you don't find attractive? I did it and still would love to know how it happens...

Let us call her Miss Waitress.

Miss Waitress is a regular at the bar I spend too much time in. She is there every night.... We always saw each other, we always said hello and exchanged BS small talk. Pleasant words between familiar faces.

On Monday nights I play poker in the back room of the bar and had a huge night. I emerged from the game up hundreds, buzzed and (to be frank) horny as all-hell-and-get-out. Dry spells are very dangerous.

Miss Waitress was at the bar (SHOCKER).... We get talking, my standards faded like the side of the couch facing the window. Next thing you know she is meeting me at my place. We fooled around...

Handy Dandy tip from yer Uncle Hof:
Sometimes being nice and a gentleman causes more trouble than good. Sometimes being a prick is the only fair path to take. If you meant it to be a one-night stand you are NOT doing anyone a favor by being vague after the fact.

Though I never got the memo, I found out I was her boyfriend. Sucks to be the last to friggin' know. Now I am stuck. Now I need to be a dick but I, despite some extensive practice, suck at it.

Find the courage, young man....

I found some on Friday night. Miss Pessimism, who works with my sister, introduced me to a friend of hers (Miss Lookatme) from NYC. I cannot expect anything to come of it.

"Here I am expecting just a little bit too much from the wounded" -Perfect Circle

It became very clear (amazing how vodka makes everything clear) that Miss Lookatme was still buried to the neck in a recent Ex. I don't tread those tundras anymore; age does teach us a few things.

I was being me and trying to see if I was the only one "getting the feeling". Too hard to tell.... and I suck and putting out the VIBE.

"Well I threw you the obvious, just to see if there's more behind the eyes of a fallen angel, eyes of a tragedy." -Perfect Circle

Back to the courage....

I found courage - she reminded me that smart passionate people are out there. Without even realizing it I had let MY optimism slip away'

I still believe. I know you are out there.

there are 3 doodles

At 11:55 AM, Blogger Lisa Renea said...

I was just passing through and read the one and only post you have... You sound like me, even though I'm a bit younger than you.

If you go and read even a little of my blog, you will know that you're definitely not the only single person out there. Not to say that you don't know that, but I think you know what I mean.

I wish you the best of luck with your girl friend, whether it be staying with her, or being the good prick, and doing a favor for both of you. :)

 
At 9:17 PM, Blogger hofzinser said...

Nice to know... Vegas should be the last of it....

 
At 1:57 PM, Blogger allison said...

[retro comment - hi, Hof! Here I am a-archivin'] This post?...

...A perfect beginning.

 

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