*What Would Hofzinser Do?

*Our species may, in fact, survive

*I'm out

*Prepare me for her consumption

*Put me in, coach!

*Trained in the gentle art

*I would be lying

*Drinks are on Uncle Hof

*Leave notes in his shirt pocket

*There will be none of THAT


1. I ask you to do one effing thing
2. Did you?
3. The socks betray him
4. There will be none of that
5. Leave notes in his shirt pocket
6. Trained in the gentle art
7. Put me in coach
8. Our species may, in fact, survive
9.Swarm Swarm
10.During the wooing
11.BUT not private enough
12.The bottomless appetite
13.The first time we forget
14.This is a nice litmus test
15.To get the ball rolling
16.She invited you back to her place for coffee
17.Mary Magdalene or Eva Braun
18.It will only smell and make you queasy


   Monday, May 30, 2005

Cyberversion of Chlamydia

Hmmmm.....

The sweet, sweet miss sandra blogtagged me. I've stated before that I do not believe in this cyberversion of Chlamydia passed off as "bog tagging". A* tagged me once and I protested (then participated). My love for sandra runs deep and I will accept the STD but refuse to pass it on.... gimme a second to put on a condom.

What a man does for his readers... boggles the mind.

Total number of films I own on DVD/video: DVDs (40+) VHS (hundreds - wanna buy some?)
The last film I bought: The Professional (the movie that started my love affair with Natalie Portman. Of course, she does not return my calls anymore. Effing restraining order ruins another perfect relationship)
The last film I watched: The Professional (with A*)
Five films that I watch a lot or that mean a lot to me (in no particular order):
1. Raiders of the Lost Ark (I need to blog out my theory on Dr. Jones being the perfect model for men to emulate)
2. Star Wars Empire Strikes Back (the best of the entire 6-movie series)
3. Casablanca (the only perfect movie ever made)
4. The Searchers (greatest western ever made)
5. Seinfeld Seasons 1,2+3 (greatest television series ever)
Total volume of music files on my computer: Volume of music? My files all play at eleven. ("The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and..."
"Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?"
"Exactly."
"Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?"
"Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?"
"I don't know."
"Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?"
"Put it up to eleven."
"Eleven. Exactly. One louder."
"Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?"
[pause]
"These go to eleven.")
The last CD I bought was: Whiskeytown's Pneumonia
Song playing right now: "Lazy Bird" by Coltrane. There are times in our life that only The Jazz can be the soundrack.
Six songs I listen to a lot or that mean a lot to me: Six? Why not just ask a parent which child they love the most. I abstain.
Five albums I can listen to over and over from start to finish - Greatest Hits dont count:
FIVE? Are you kidding me? Why not ask ask a heroine addict which needle is their favorite. I abstain here as well. Here is a short list of the 25 greatest artists of all time (no particular order)... [ed note: not MY top 25, THE top 25 and I can prove it, mathmatically or empirically (you choose)]
1. Beatles
2. Tool
3. Led Zep
4. Pink Floyd
5. Hendrix
6. Coltrane
7. Miles Davis
8. Charlie Parker
9. Thelonious Monk
10. Bob Dylan
11. Tom Waits
12. Ani DiFranco
13. Ray Charles
14. Neil Young
15. Prince
16. Billy Joel
17. Johnny Cash
18. Public Enemy
19. Willie Nelson
20. Four Tops
21. Robert Johnson
22. David Bowie
23. Smashing Pumpkins
24. Radiohead
25. Cake

there are 6 doodles

At 10:46 AM, Blogger You Can't Afford Me said...

excellent job! thanks for loving me enough to do it.

 
At 9:18 PM, Blogger Patrick said...

Finally, someone with the guts to admit that Prince IS great. Congrats.

 
At 12:36 PM, Blogger Islandgirl said...

Hof. Love the new blog look...very cool! And as funny as always.

 
At 1:27 PM, Blogger hofzinser said...

Sandra: Never doubt my love...

patrick: Prince has always been ahead of his time. When he puts a new album out everyone thinks, "What the hell is THIS?". Two years later everything on the radio sounds like the (then old) album.

islandgirl: *blush* thanks... tell your friends all about it!

 
At 5:13 AM, Anonymous Cousin said...

ah, how did i know you'd have the beatles at #1? i still think of you fondly as The Person Who Introduced Me To Real Music (Pink Floyd The Wall through headphones, "read the lyrics at the same time!", 1987)

I also think of you unfondly as The Person Who Shot Me With A Paint Gun, but that has nothing to do with the topic at hand.

 
At 9:28 AM, Blogger hofzinser said...

miss cousin as in miss cousin from seattle????

 

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