"Oh God... I'm close... are you?"
"Shhhhhhh", she replies
"Jesus... God... Baby, are you close?"
"AAAAARRRRGGGGG", his arms collapse and he falls to her chest. "Did you?"
"That's just great!"
Despite the orgasm, despite the great love making, he hops off and storms into the bathroom.
This is the second installment in the "Why do Men...?"
series inspired from comments on this post.
Miss Tasha asked: Why do men get all upset when the girl doesn't get off before the guy?
Your question reveals a great difference between men and women. Men are goal oriented, women are process oriented. This truth explains many of the misunderstandings between men and women.
Men take action with an objective in mind. We see what we want and then act to get it. The process to obtain is only the ways to the means. Sex for most men is the method to orgasm. We screw to get off and think you do too. Sounds crude but its not. It does not mean we don't have warm-fuzzy feelings during sex. It does not mean we don't enjoy the sex before the grand finale. Men just don't see the point in lighting the fireworks if they are not going to blow up.
Women, on the other hand, are less goal obsessed and have the ability to enjoy the process for the process' sake. Women tell women their problems for the sake of telling them. Men tell men their problems to work out a solution. Women tell men their problems so the woman can be frustrated by the man and storm off because he just doesn't listen. Men don't tell women their problems unless the woman is the problem. Even then, they probably won't say anything.
So if men are so goal obsessed, why do they get pissed if they finish first? The answer to this is both psychological and biological. If we finish first the buzzer rings and the game is over and the carriage turns back into a pumpkin. Our equipment is rendered useless once we make the goal, drop the three pointer and run it in for the touchdown. If we finish first we can't go into overtime unless we make your left leg Christmas, your right leg Thanksgiving and visit you between the holidays. We are out of bullets and it can take some men a few episodes of Friends to reload.
At face value it appears the man's desire to get your ship to sail first is proof your man is selfless in bed. It is not. Ironically, we are not thinking about your desires being fulfilled when we ask the "Did you?" question. We are looking for validation of our performance.
You getting to the top of the cliff and jumping off is us getting a 10 from the butch Russian judge in the Sex Olympics. We know us getting off is no major accomplishment. Hell, many men fire their cannons if some random female-ish hip brushes up against them in the subway. We are fully aware getting you to Olympus is as simple and straight-forward as long division of fractions without a calculator.
If we can get you off then we are great lovers. We love being great lovers. Its a goal we all have and you know how goal obsessed we are.
Solution: Very simple.... lie and say "yes". Honestly, we can't tell if you did or did not. That's why we ask so don't be afraid of getting caught in your little lie. We want to be lied to. We want to be the best lover you've ever had. If we are not, lie and say we are. No harm, no foul. If you liked the sex and want more sooner than later... you must lie. Men like to eff women they think love to eff them.
Our sexual ego is very fragile. We are the Waterford Crystal Vase, you are the sledgehammer. Be very, very careful.
"God, baby, I sure did. That was AMAZING!"
...and all was right in the world as they faded to sleep.
If you would like your "Why do Men...?" question answered
in a future post be sure to leave your question as a comment HERE.