*Put me in, coach!

*Trained in the gentle art

*I would be lying

*Drinks are on Uncle Hof

*Leave notes in his shirt pocket

*There will be none of THAT

*The Socks Betray Him

*Coffee with 2 sugars and 1 compliment

*Did you?

*I ask you to do ONE effing thing


1. I ask you to do one effing thing
2. Did you?
3. The socks betray him
4. There will be none of that
5. Leave notes in his shirt pocket
6. Trained in the gentle art
7. Put me in coach
8. Our species may, in fact, survive
9.Swarm Swarm
10.During the wooing
11.BUT not private enough
12.The bottomless appetite
13.The first time we forget
14.This is a nice litmus test
15.To get the ball rolling
16.She invited you back to her place for coffee
17.Mary Magdalene or Eva Braun
18.It will only smell and make you queasy


   Thursday, May 26, 2005

Prepare me for her consumption

Many people were spared the dreaded, feared, seldom unleashed Hofzinser twister punch.

It was only a few months ago that I was ready to unleash this misdoubted apparatus of agony on the next sage wise-acre who told me:

"You will find her when you least expect it" or "When you stop looking she will appear in your life" or "You will know she is the one when you meet her" or "have faith, she's out there..."

Now I am in a place seldom visited. I am in the wrong camp. Yes, you read it correctly. Here is comes.

You were all right... and I was wrong.

Because I did find her when I least expected it and when I stopped looking she appeared in my life and I know she is the one and she was out there...

I had almost conceded that my standards were too high... then she comes into my life and exceeds them.

I began to think I would end up the crazy bachelor Uncle that always had gum and made coins appear behind ears.... and now, someday, I will be making my brothers Uncles and my sister an Aunt.

I believe much of my life unfolded to prepare me for her consumption. I became who I am today to certify I would be exactly what SHE was looking for. I am humbled by her love.

Now I have to find a new target for my twister punches...

Most recent potential candidates? The lovely people sending crazed emails to Mr. Underhill.

G2G... need to pack. Getting on a plane to spend the holiday weekend with my favorite writer (who is also one helluva kisser.)

there are 11 doodles

At 11:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congratulations! It's spring and love is in the air!

The both of you need to remember a couple of things.

1. Love is grand and we all feel the tingle of whatever chemical floods our brain when we are in love. Just remember that the infatuation drug only last, at most, a couple of years. Then it's all about the relationship. The best part that I see between the 2 of you (like I know you personally or something) is that you are friends. So when the chemical leaves your brain, you will still have a good foundation for your relationship.

2. Love does not equal committment! I learned this one the hard way. I left some really good relationships because I didn't get it. I fell into the "if-it-was-the-right-person-I-wouldn't-feel-this-way" trap. Feelings come and go... always transient. The best way I can describe comittment is this: Committment is when you stay in a relationship and work out the tough times, even when you have a right to leave. Much different from love!

Just a little preaching for the choir,
Mean Joe Green

 
At 11:21 AM, Blogger hofzinser said...

I just read your comment to A*. She said, "that sounds like something you (me) would say..."

You words are very true and you are kind for sharing them with us.

As for you trying to downplay your writing; we are not believers. You, sir, can write and I want access to more of it.

Pull the curtain back and reveal yourself, Mr. Green.

 
At 11:53 AM, Blogger A* said...

MJG- Hof and I have had that talk already. And you are absolutely right. Although I do believe that love goes hand in hand with commitment. The base of love should ALWAYS be there in great times and in tough times. Working the through the tough makes the love stronger never weaker.

 
At 12:38 PM, Blogger Andy said...

Hof-Alright, but you can't say I didn't warn you.

a*-I have a friend that works with me and she was getting married. During a conversation we had, I felt the need to explain to her what commitment really is (she is 23 and needed some enlightenment... in my opinion anyway), before she got married. I treaded precariously over a rough terrain, listening as she explained to me that she "loves" this guy and that's all she needs to know for their relationship to work. She then proceeded to tell that her parents were married for 20+ years and that they "grew apart" and subsequently divorced. She then told me that if she were put in that position, she wouldn't stay in the relationship only to be unhappy the rest of her life. That's when I figured it was time to strike... the perfect opportunity for the male in my brain to come out with some real wisdom. I said, "That's what I am talking about. Commitment is working through that and staying together even when you are feeling you will be unhappy the rest of your life. Staying is commitment." I think if she was a little more impulsive, I would have enjoyed a nice little hand print on my face, but what I did get was the the shut-the-eff-up look. I realized quickly that I had completely overstepped my bounds and apologized. It took a couple of days for her to come around.

Of course... she still got married... and she's happy.

I guess my point, in my opinion, is that you really can't explain commitment to someone who can't grasp the concept or who hasn't experienced it.

AND my other point is that both people have to understand what commitment is for it to work in the tough times.

Sorry I'm so long winded,
Andy (Formerly Mean Joe Green)

 
At 12:56 PM, Blogger A* said...

Andy- Thou hast revealed thyself! :)
23? Yeah definitely in need of some enlightenment. The beauty of me & Hof is we get that. My parents have been married for 30+ years. They married at 19 and are still in love with each other. My parents are so in sync it's ridiculous. That's their gift to me- an understanding of true commitment. Tough times abound and still they stick together.
It's unbelievably tough to explain commitment to people who have never at least seen it played before them.
I am glad your friend came around. And I sincerely hope she gets it.

 
At 1:12 PM, Blogger Andy said...

Like I said, I learned the hard way. Been divorced... But here is the great part: My wife, who has been my friend forever, was at my first wedding...in the front row. We used to double date and hang out all the time.

I don't think I had a good understanding of commitment going into my marriage, but Renee taught me well... and our friends have helped us too.

 
At 1:32 PM, Anonymous Christina said...

Not going to leave anything too serious or heavy, simply -
Have a great weekend.
Get lots of sleep and...lots of not sleep. :)

 
At 7:01 PM, Blogger You Can't Afford Me said...

like i told a*, thanks for watching my back! some people are so effing stupid it's unbelievable.

<3 you guys!

 
At 9:14 AM, Blogger Mr. Drinker said...

Could this be? The all-knowing hof actually ADMITS being wrong? Hold on a sec while I grab the the pads for electro-shock therapy. All I can say is it looks like everyone has the same feeling of happiness for you both. So, enjoy your weekend...and if you are looking for great Italian food in the city, go to Il Vagabondo. 57th between 1st and 2nd.

 
At 2:29 PM, Blogger hofzinser said...

christina: thanks!

sandra: I think we are more excited for you next week than us staying in a suite in Manhattan for four nights...

Mr. Drinker: It has been revealed that someone has been hacking into my blog. You know I could never lie to my readers and tell them I was wrong at any point. The FBI is currently investigating. Where were you when this blatant misinformation was posted?

 
At 1:59 AM, Blogger allison said...

I proudly pick up the "he's out there somewhere" twister punch flag and hoist it high above my li'l NY battlement.

Mind you, I am totally hoping and wishing to be defeated in my little rebellion. In the meantime, marching on...

 

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