*The first time we forget

*My "Why do men"

*Caveman porn

*I will cut off that toothprick of yours

*Like we are SOOOOO important

*From the archives

*A tool not an overlord

*And I am glad

*None of us had perfect parents

*The bottomless appetite

1. I ask you to do one effing thing
2. Did you?
3. The socks betray him
4. There will be none of that
5. Leave notes in his shirt pocket
6. Trained in the gentle art
7. Put me in coach
8. Our species may, in fact, survive
9.Swarm Swarm
10.During the wooing
11.BUT not private enough
12.The bottomless appetite
13.The first time we forget
14.This is a nice litmus test
15.To get the ball rolling
16.She invited you back to her place for coffee
17.Mary Magdalene or Eva Braun
18.It will only smell and make you queasy

   Friday, June 24, 2005

Ask not, "Why" but "Why not?"

How do you sleep at night? We all harness great power and strength and some use their powers to fight evil and save the world while you are too busy wondering why Lyle Lovett and Julia Roberts didn't have bass-fished lipped kids with bad hair. What was the last great idea to emerge from your brain?

We spend so much of our lives mired in the day-to-day that few of us take the time to think big. Then there are the select few remaining heroes of our time. The rare intelllects that stop thinking about themselves and their choices in breakfast cereal and start thinking how they can make their mark on our world. They think outside of the confines of modern society and ask not, "Why" but "Why not?".

These great thinkers are the real superheroes of our times. They are the few, the proud and selfless. They use their powers for good and, apparently, they all work for Snapple. Ladies and gents, you favorite blogger serves up another installment of Uncle Hof's Superhero of the Week.

June 22, 2005, 3:57PM

Giant popsicle melts, floods New York park

Associated Press

NEW YORK — An attempt to erect the world's largest popsicle in a city square ended with a scene straight out of a disaster film — but much stickier.

The 25-foot-tall, 17 1/2-ton treat of frozen Snapple juice melted faster than expected Tuesday, flooding Union Square in downtown Manhattan with kiwi-strawberry-flavored fluid that sent pedestrians scurrying for higher ground.

Firefighters closed off several streets and used hoses to wash away the sugary goo.

Snapple had been trying to promote a new line of frozen treats by setting a record for the world's largest popsicle, but called off the stunt before the it was pulled fully upright by a construction crane. Authorities said they were worried the thing would collapse in the 80-degree, first-day-of-summer heat.

"What was unsettling was that the fluid just kept coming," Stuart Claxton of the Guinness Book of World Records told the Daily News. "It was quite a lot of fluid. On a hot day like this, you have to move fast."

Snapple official Lauren Radcliffe said the company was unlikely to make a second attempt to break the record, set by a 21-foot ice pop in Holland in 1997.

The giant ice pop was supposed to have been able to withstand the heat for some time, and organizers weren't sure why it didn't. It had been made in Edison, N.J., and hauled to New York by freezer truck in the morning.

(ed note: this article was stolen, without permission from here so keep your yapper shut, I do this to entertain you and if I find out you squeeled....)

there are 5 doodles

At 10:20 AM, Anonymous christina said...

I saw the giant popsicle article on Wednesday, horrifying, isn't it?

Especially condsidering I'm going up there next week to find an apartment in Washington/Union Square.

At 10:43 AM, Blogger Kira said...

Why the hell didn't they just try this in the WINTER when something like that was unlikely to happen? Hmmmm....

Death by popsicle. What a thing to tell the grandkids about how granddad died long ago ;)

At 6:09 PM, Blogger VegasGustan said...

Kira: You can't promote a new popsicle in the winter...no one will buy it then. Jeez. *snicker*

That is funny though.

At 7:08 AM, Blogger Kira said...

You are wrong. I eat ice cream and popsicles all the time in the winter :) And icees and slurpees. Yum!

At 9:55 AM, Blogger hofzinser said...

christina: you have to let me and A* know when you are settled in. We will get drinks next time I'm up visiting...

kira: Snapple; it not just for making orphans anymore. There is no season that prevents me from macking some Cherry Garcia.

vegasG: ever the practical one...


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