*Effing masterpiece


*Thanks, A*, for letting me "sketch you up!"

*Taste just as good

*Kick his ass


*Evokes this mental state (part I)

*Win me some points

*Thanks, kira, for letting me "sketch you up!"

*During the wooing

1. I ask you to do one effing thing
2. Did you?
3. The socks betray him
4. There will be none of that
5. Leave notes in his shirt pocket
6. Trained in the gentle art
7. Put me in coach
8. Our species may, in fact, survive
9.Swarm Swarm
10.During the wooing
11.BUT not private enough
12.The bottomless appetite
13.The first time we forget
14.This is a nice litmus test
15.To get the ball rolling
16.She invited you back to her place for coffee
17.Mary Magdalene or Eva Braun
18.It will only smell and make you queasy

   Thursday, June 09, 2005

BUT not private enough

The dinner was perfect. They've been together for months now and she loves everything about them. They get back to his place and she stops him in the foyer. He is such a great kisser. Small pecks first then deeper kisses. She remembers the first time they kissed. She still gets the chills. She could kiss him forever. He proceeds to jam his hand up her skirt....

This is the eleventh installment in the "Why do Men...?" series inspired from comments on this post.

WordWhiz asked: Why do men lose interest in making out, once the relationship has moved into more intimate territories? It's like kissing becomes some annoying and unnecessary foreplay. HINT GUYS: Women LIKE kissing. We like it a lot!

I will start sounding like a broken record soon. This is the eleventh WDM post and I am finding myself repeating some of the answers. Why? We men are just not that complicated. It is shocking how simple we are. I think many women encounter problems with us when they overthink us. Wonder what's wrong with your man? What is the simplest explanation you can come up with? You now have your answer.

ANYWAY, back to wordwhiz's question...

Physical intimacy, for many men, is a game of dominoes. I don't mean the dominoes you see 134 year old Cuban men playing on a cardboard box in Little Havana. I'm talking about setting the buggers up on their ends and configuring them up so one knocks the other, knocks the other, etc.

The first domino is friendly touching. Touching your arm during a conversation or a hand on the small of your back as we hold the door open for you. We take our manly finger and push this first domino....

Then it hits the second domino... the kiss. It is one of the dominoes in the series. We love this one too but it is just one of the dominoes that hits....

The third one... the heavy petting which hits the oral domino that eventually hits the intercourse domino.

So for most men the kissing is a step in a long ladder leading to you and I knocking boots.

Solution: *brings out broken record and puts the needle down then spins it* You have to train us to not see the kissing domino as just a step to boot-knocking. Tell us how much you love kissing us (not kissing in general... kissing US).

Here is a good trick for you. Next time you and yer man-ditty-man-man are out. Find a place/time when you can kiss him. I mean really kiss him. Kiss him so the only thing he wants to do is rip every thread off your frame. The kicker... be sure you are in a place that is private enough for this type of attack BUT not private enough for him to take it to the next domino. Let him linger on how great kissing is - just kissing.

If you would like your "Why do Men...?" question answered in a future post be sure to leave your question as a comment HERE.

there are 7 doodles

At 3:30 PM, Blogger Andy said...

You're right, it's a domino thing for guys, but it's only because we have mr. stiffy staring at us, wondering why we woke him up.

Women, (yes... big sweeping generalization is about to follow) on the other hand, don't have something they have to "deal with."

There are exceptions to this. I can really get my wife torqued up and I think she would get upset if I didn't "deliver." And there are times that just making out is a lot of fun and even though mr. stiffy is at attention and saluting the flag... he's being ignored... as "hard" as that is to believe (Honestly I'm 36... oh... my mental age? oh... yeah... that's a lot different).

At 4:55 PM, Blogger Autumn said...

You know what I think guys fail to recognized? When Mr. Stiffy is at attention, Ms. Wetty is paying attention too!! Just because we don't have an object sticking OUT of us, doesn't mean we're not aroused!! I think men fail to realize that even though we may say No to sex, it doesn't mean we're not horny too!

As for the domino post, that's just lame!! Kissing is like frosting on the cake!! It's like a cd or mp3 in you're player!! It's like a car with wheels!! You have to have kissing or at least some type of foreplay to physically make the woman's body ready for procreation!

I know men (and possibly women) don't like to think of sex as procreating but we were made this way for a purpose! If you don't make us "ready" every time, it won't be as pleasureable!! :)

that's my 2 cents.

At 6:01 PM, Blogger Kira said...

If you want a good place where you can kiss--good deep tongue kissing, small amount of groping, everybody is aroused--but you can't really continue, go to France. Anywhere will do, really (restaurant, street, store, park, etc). They have different attitudes about kissing there. I've been over there a couple of times (Alex is French), and I now am used to the idea that if he wants to grab me and give me a knee weakening kiss anywhere at any time, he can, and several other people are doing it too. Very unlike South Carolina where little old women will beat you with a cane if you dare to do anything other than hold hands.

At 7:21 PM, Blogger hofzinser said...

sweet autumn. Its not lame or great... its just the truth - reality. Good news, we set up the dominos each time and go through each step. A* has taught me how great kissing is... we stay on that ladder rung until SHE can't stand it anymore and wants to (ahem) climb.

I agree about Ms. Wetty (which is now her official name, I registered it with the Library of Congress an hour ago) and getting her ready. My favorite is getting her started even before any contact happens... that is my favorite.

At 7:22 PM, Blogger hofzinser said...

kira.... we stayed in Paris when we were in Las Vegas... does that count?

There was mucho public displays of tounge jamming there!

At 7:29 PM, Blogger A* said...

Um hi. Revealing..stuff...

Actually, Hof usually gets all worked up first!

*points finger accusingly*

At 8:15 PM, Blogger WordWhiz said...

First, A* - I LOVE the new avitar! SUPER cool!! Really!

As time has passed, I have ceased to care WHY men try to avoid making out. Now that I've learned I can only train him to do THREE things (or was it four??), MAKING OUT is going to be one of them. To hell with the freakin' laundry. Who cares if he plays with his privates while he lays on the couch watching football. If he's a truly awesome...and WILLING kisser, that will make up for a lot of other shortcomings.

A* must have been your 2,000 customer because your site meter is reading 2001.


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