"What's wrong Sue?"
"Its Billy, he just doesn't do it for me anymore... he's so taking me for granted lately"
"Typical man... once they win ya they leave ya"
This is the tenth installment in the "Why do Men...?" series inspired from comments on this post.
WordWhiz asked: Why do men treat us like royalty when they're trying to get us, then treat us like on old piece of furniture once we're interested? Do you lose interest once the competition is won?
Like most things in the world the answer to this comes down to the basic law of economics; supply and demand.
When you are being wooed by a man you are presenting a limited suppy of your attention and affection. This increases his demand and affects his behavior. If he is effective in his abilities he will begin to aquire your attention and affections. You are filling his demand with your supply.
So what are you supposed to do? Should you be stingy on filling the demand and not supply the attention and affections to fill his demand? Should you keep him hungry? No milk unless you buy the cow? Sadly, this is one solution to the dilemma. It will likely work for awhile until a new supplier comes on the market presenting a better product thus redirecting his demand.
Hype and short supply will often garner buzz and initial demand. If you are only looking for short shelf life, then be a tease (give small free samples) and stir his demand with good advertising (double entendres, etc). Never call him (make him call you). Always "get back to him" when he asks for a date because you have to "check out what's going on that night". Flirt with other customers so he can see the overall demand is very high.
You can maintain demand by producing a quality product that he cannot find anywhere else. This brings me to a very important point to consider;
Is all the onus on the man in this situation?
Many times women, when the wooing begins, put forth the cream of their product. As they begin to fill the demand (and their inventory begins to dwindle) they don't restock the quality stuff. They start passing off lower caliber product when they use to only dispense the best.
(Ok, now even I'm lost in this Econ analogy... let's drop it)
Men often become less attentive once the relationship gets fully formed and the wooing ends. Typically it is the fault of both the man and the woman. Men tend to always keep a right eye out for something new and when their partner becomes a sure thing or the relationship becomes routine, they drift away or fail to keep things alive. Men often fail to maintain the behavior used to get the woman so they may keep her affections and attentions.
For women, they often stop doing their best as the wooing wains. They don't spend as much time on their appearance. The physical relationship is not maintained and cultivated. Be honest with yourself, do you sleep with him as much now as you did when you started dating?
Some of the onus is on the woman for what she allows. When the man first treats you poorly you MUST discourage and make him aware of the behavior. How often, when he first treats you like a rug, do you "just let it go" because it was "so not like him"? Your silence gives him permission. It registers as tacid consent in his simple simple SIMPLE (did I mention "simple") mind.
SOLUTION: The fix is multi-teired. Be sure you are aware how you act during the wooing. Be yourself so that, as time passes, your behavior does not change (resulting in a nasty "bait and switch"). Do not let bad behavior go unmentioned. Don't be a nag, but don't be a mouse either. From "go" nurture the relationship. Keep things exciting for him and yourself. Break routines, suprise him with random acts of sex, etc.
If the man you are with does not respond to my solution... dump the dirtbag.
If you would like your "Why do Men...?" question answered in a future post be sure to leave your question as a comment HERE.