*Seeing how your didn't ask...

*Ya made someone's week

*Gotta second?

*She will torture us

*Who was it?

*BUT not private enough

*Effing masterpiece

*(ahem)

*Thanks, A*, for letting me "sketch you up!"

*Taste just as good


1. I ask you to do one effing thing
2. Did you?
3. The socks betray him
4. There will be none of that
5. Leave notes in his shirt pocket
6. Trained in the gentle art
7. Put me in coach
8. Our species may, in fact, survive
9.Swarm Swarm
10.During the wooing
11.BUT not private enough
12.The bottomless appetite
13.The first time we forget
14.This is a nice litmus test
15.To get the ball rolling
16.She invited you back to her place for coffee
17.Mary Magdalene or Eva Braun
18.It will only smell and make you queasy


   Monday, June 13, 2005

Maybe streamers fell?

You get spam, I get spam... what's the difference? I read my spam. They took the time to send it to me and it is the least I can do. As with everything I read, I snark as a I go. I got this little gem in my gmail this morning. My comments are in red.

From: Julie
Subject: It's Me :-) [woot! I thought it was that little black midget from the Bacardi ads... you know, Diet Cola]

Hey it's me again [again? Was I that drunk?]... I still can't fix my email [funny, you've been sending me these ultra-personal emails for over six months now. You still can't get your email working?] so I keep using my friends [ I have an idea, change providers and start using the email service your effing friend uses seeing how you are always using her's. By the way, doesn't she get tired of your skanky ass coming over and hijacking her computer? Hmmm... is your friend hot? I digress....], she's getting mad at me but oh well ;-)) [empathy and selflessness is hot] Anyways I went to the store the other day [OK, Julie, now you are starting to lose me. Why would I care if you went to the store or not?] and met a cute girl [my deepest apologies, Julie, disragard that last statement... I do care!], her name is Linda [does her email work? Maybe you can use her's next time], and we started chatting for a while and then became friends :-) [out of curiosity, when you "became friends" did a bell go off, or an alarm. Maybe streamers fell? I can imagine you and the cute Linda bantering small talk back and forth then, at that special moment, BUM-BA-BAHHH you became friends!]... She's going to come by my place today [get that bitch to fix your effing email!], she'll say hi to you on my webcam ;-) [will she now. Hmmmm. Any chance you two might, with the proper payment on my part, start by waving to me? Then maybe you will both giggle and start tickling each other? Kiss? If anything like that happens I might start getting feelings for both of you. If we keep in touch and chat and cam on a regular basis you could become my friends. Maybe we could talk about our day or about our feelings. After learning we are so compatible we might fall in love. If we fell in love, who knows what could happen! I might love you both too much to let you live... (shut-up, you always ruin everything, no, you ruin it, they were starting to like us, why would they like you, you shut it people are staring at us again, piss off, no you piss off and clean up the blood stains from the bathtub, you clean it, no you clean it)] .... Cya there, oh and my page is at (URL) if you forgot..... [we will I will write it down this time]

Kisses, bye... Julie [back at ya!]

there are 10 doodles

At 10:03 AM, Blogger mcgibfried said...

and here i thought i was the only one that disected my emails like this! glad to not be going it alone in the land of snark.

and didn't webster use the word 'snark' to describe dog snot/slobber? damn i wish i could shake these memories of my youth!

snoogans.

 
At 11:50 AM, Blogger Paige said...

I blogged about the definition of "snark" a while back, I'll have to find it for you McG.

Is it just me Hof, or did all your links disappear?

 
At 11:50 AM, Blogger Paige said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 12:09 PM, Blogger hofzinser said...

I am not sure what you mean, paige. Disappear?

 
At 1:47 PM, Blogger Paige said...

They aren't loading with my page, it looks like you took all your links off.

 
At 2:57 PM, Blogger A* said...

Actually hon...
Paige is right. They aren't loading on my page either.

 
At 3:12 PM, Blogger hofzinser said...

I fixed it. Thanks ladies. It worked fine in firefox but effed up in IE. Oh, and IE bites shaved hedgehog nuts.

 
At 3:22 PM, Blogger Paige said...

Yes it does.

 
At 5:04 PM, Blogger WordWhiz said...

YIKES!! I'm never emailing you or McG again! I don't want my email dissected on one of your blogs - especially if I was a little... uh...tipsy when I wrote them. (or a LOT tipsy...or falling on my face wasted!!)

Somebody spammed my blog today...in NORWEGIAN!! What's up with that??

 
At 8:03 PM, Blogger Autumn said...

that's f*cking hilarious! great comments back! I hate those stupid spammers! Do people actually make money off them?

I get a Viagra ad in my hotmail 2-3 a day.............. EVERY day!!! :S

 

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