[greetings fellow Blogiophiles from your favorite blogger, HofSnark. Hofzinser has not woken up yet this morning so I have a chance to take over his sad little blog and give you a post worth reading. I was up late last night tooling through some random blogs. The crap being posted in the blogosphere cannot remain unsnarked.
To protect the dull and guilty, I won't tell you where I found this post. Yes, this is a real post from someones blog, no one could make this drudge up. If it is from your blog, I'm sorry. I'm not sorry for mocking you, I am sorry you abuse your two readers with this cream-of-crap... you should be ashamed of yourself.
Today's target comes from a blogging 14 year-old gal from Singapore. If you think I should cut her some slack because she is young then keep your yap shut or the bilge on your blog will be next.
This post was copied without permission (or mercy). If you think God loves us then remember he could have taken this gal's computer in the tsunami... and didn't (he hates you, I specifically asked him about you and he said, "yep, hate that one"). My comments are in red.]
Friday, June 10, 2005
Well, okay, I'm not really thinking straight , but at least I didn't call it "The Third Fourth Post". [should we be thankful for sparing us a really bad title?]
Today was really, really boring. [so, as a result she will torture us with a really, really boring post. What a sweetheart.] I stayed at home the whole day. [At least she did not lie to us. I am already dozing off.] I haven't been out of my house for three days. [She lives in Singapore. Houses there average five square feet per person. You can imagine the smell she is emitting at this point?] The manager at the McDonald's where I applied for a job hasn't called me back yet, and I am getting SO bored. [Sweetie, when you don't get a callback from a McDonalds you should keep it to yourself. I emailed blogger and told them anyone that cannot be hired by Mickey-Ds should not have permission to blog... let's have some standards] I mean, I did some spring cleaning yesterday! I never clean anything! Ever!! [NOW you can imagine the smell.]
Anyway. All I do nowadays is chat on MSN and Yahoo! and in Yahoo! chatrooms, [remember, cupcake, if you meet anyone claiming to be a cute American 14 year-old girl willing to fly you to the states to hang out and listen to Clay Aiken's new album there is no chance she is a 33 year old man running a slave-staffed brothel out of a hovel in South Florida... so go! What an opportunity to see the States!] write in this bloggie, [die, bitch] check how many people have added me at Friendster, [obsessive and insecure... she will make some lucky ox farmer so happy] play TS2 (only a tiny bit, since it's unbearably slow) [riiiiiight] and watch TV. [whew, for a second there I thought you were not getting in some exercise] I've memorised the schedule. I mean...come on! [there, see, you should of mentioned this gift in your McDs interview... the manager would be calling if he only knew!]
I should be catching up on my reading. [you should be doing anything but posting so go... read... NOW] I have like 15 books to read. [good, you're set until your 35] I wish I could go out. [so do we] Although I won't be doing that any time soon because of SOMEBODY. [obsessive, insecure, and now we learn... paranoid. Honey the voices are real, listen to them. They are watching you. They know where you are and what you are thinking.]
I don't feel like writing. [we did not feel like reading yet here we are] Be back tomorrow, maybe. [Go to your mailbox and get that plane ticket I, I mean she, sent you... the customers are waiting.]
[shit, Hofzinser is in the shower... gotta go. HofSnark OUT!]