*Missed therapy sessions


*They must have a bug problem

*Firefox friendly (finally)

*Cyberversion of Chlamydia

*What Would Hofzinser Do?

*Our species may, in fact, survive

*I'm out

*Prepare me for her consumption

*Put me in, coach!

1. I ask you to do one effing thing
2. Did you?
3. The socks betray him
4. There will be none of that
5. Leave notes in his shirt pocket
6. Trained in the gentle art
7. Put me in coach
8. Our species may, in fact, survive
9.Swarm Swarm
10.During the wooing
11.BUT not private enough
12.The bottomless appetite
13.The first time we forget
14.This is a nice litmus test
15.To get the ball rolling
16.She invited you back to her place for coffee
17.Mary Magdalene or Eva Braun
18.It will only smell and make you queasy

   Friday, June 03, 2005

Worse things in life

Sister sent this to me.... a good laugh

A man was walking by his son's bedroom one afternoon, when he had to stop and do a double-take : everything was picked up and set in place - even the bed was neatly made.

Then, he saw an envelope propped up prominently in the middle of the bed - it was addressed " Dad"... With the worst premonitions, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands...

Dear Dad :

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing this to you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice, even with all her piercings, tattoos, and her tight motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion, Dad - she's pregnant and Joan said that we will be very happy.

Even though you probably wouldn't care for her, as she is so much older than me, she owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood big enough for the whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me, and that's one of my dreams now, too.Joan taught me that marijuana really doesn't hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and to trade with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better. She sure deserves it!

Don't worry, Dad. I'm 16 years old now, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your son,

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card which is in the center desk drawer. I love you ! Please call me when it's safe for me to come home.

there are 11 doodles

At 8:40 AM, Blogger WordWhiz said...

Are you doing the stroller watch at the Hoboken Starbucks?? This was funny. "Sister"? Is that symbolic or your real sister? I only remember reading about your brothers.

At 8:52 AM, Blogger hofzinser said...

Nope... I emptied my Marriott points account and got us a suite at the JW Marriott on 54th for the weekend. I am looking out over the city as I blog and she is sleeping like an angel.

I am the oldest of four. There is me (yea ME) - I am 32 (until Tuesday) and then Mr. Craftsman who is 27 then Sister who is 25 and then Mr. Youngest (what an original nickname - I am so damn creative) who is exactly 10 years my junior logging it at 23.

I have sketches of Sister and Mr. Craftsman along the right border of the template.

At 9:07 AM, Blogger bornfool said...

I like it. The old diversion tactic.


At 10:09 AM, Blogger Paige said...

I love the change in comments to "doodles." There is a great line on Buffy;

"It's a doodle. I doodle. You do too, you do doodle too."

Well, it was funny at the time.

At 10:27 AM, Blogger WordWhiz said...

A suite in NYC? You are such a good boyfriend!

At 11:04 AM, Blogger hofzinser said...

paige: I am trying to convince A* the unbelievable cleverness that is Buffy....

wordwhiz: I try... hopefully she will never sober up and realize the tool that is me.

At 11:06 AM, Blogger WordWhiz said...

The "TOOL"?? Did you mean "FOOL"?

Only fools fall in love.

At 11:15 AM, Blogger hofzinser said...

you make me feel like a natural....


At 3:00 PM, Blogger Foilwoman said...

Hof, you're talking about Buffy the Vampire Slaywer (the series) right? My life has been worse by far since that went off the air. All us women trying to do it all need the heroine who has to slay the monsters, get to her prom, raise her little sister, and correctly use the plural of the word apocalypse. That's the Buffy you're talking about, right? Not Buffy from Family Affair in the 1960s?

At 9:36 AM, Blogger Miss Tasha said...

that letter should come pre-stocked into envelopes of kids with report cards... i know it would have come in handy for me when i was in highschool... well not so much highschool, but middle school for sure!

At 2:50 AM, Blogger hofzinser said...

There is no other Buffy!


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