*Does not breed well

*She lumped tomatoes pt II

*It is entirely too shiny

*Wise

*More sodium than salt

*They finally cut off some heads

*She lumped tomatoes

*Today

*DLS #1

*With these hands!


1. I ask you to do one effing thing
2. Did you?
3. The socks betray him
4. There will be none of that
5. Leave notes in his shirt pocket
6. Trained in the gentle art
7. Put me in coach
8. Our species may, in fact, survive
9.Swarm Swarm
10.During the wooing
11.BUT not private enough
12.The bottomless appetite
13.The first time we forget
14.This is a nice litmus test
15.To get the ball rolling
16.She invited you back to her place for coffee
17.Mary Magdalene or Eva Braun
18.It will only smell and make you queasy


   Friday, July 08, 2005

The little evil part of her smiles inside

Yesterday on the phone A* and I were laughing at ourselves and our quirks. This spun into a silly conversation about, in light of our senses of humor, how our children may end up.

So I take you into the not-so-distant future....

Where the DNA of two brilliant bloggers have combined...

Creating a miracle of modern science and creative cleverness spun out of control...

I present you the continuing adventures of
Little HofzA!



Miss Smith had taught the lesson to her fourth graders so many times she no longer needed her class notes. Division is a concept little ten year olds had trouble wrapping their little minds around. Experience told her that a lesson followed by practice problems and strategic prompting was the best way to let the idea sink in.

After finishing the lesson she writes a problem on the chalkboard.

"248 / 2 = ??"

"Who can answer this one for me?", she asks as she lowers the glasses on her nose to see the faces of her class clearly.

As usual Little HofzA shoots his hand into the air. Not sure if she was up for what could emerge from the clever little devil, Miss Smith surveys the class for another choice. No one else had their hand up. Her choices were limited to one. She says a little prayer and points to her smartest student.

"HofzA, what do you think two-hundred and forty eight divided by two equals?"

She could see the wheels turn and turn. In typical HofzA style, he rose his hand out of instinct and had yet to calculate the answer. After a moment of wheel-grinding, HofzA bursts out, "128!"

The little evil part of her smiles inside, "Um... look at it again, HofzA. It's not 128."

His little eyebrows crunch on his little forehead before he quips back, "122!"

Her hands drop to her hips and she leans forward a bit, "No... and now you're just guessing."

His lips purse and his eyes close. A flurry of numbers and ciphering speeds through his mind.

"129!"

"Is there anyone else, class, who actually paid attention during the lesson?" Miss Smith breaks eye contact with her too-clever-for-his-own-good pupil and scans the faces of the other children.

"Anyone?"

HofzA's hand shoots back into the air.

"What now, HofzA?"

"Miss Smith?"

"Yes?"

"Yer fat."

there are 16 doodles

At 9:05 AM, Blogger WordWhiz said...

I like HofzA! Let me know if you're ever in need of a baby-sitter.

 
At 10:03 AM, Blogger ERL said...

LOL! you guys are waaaaay too cute for your own good.

 
At 10:50 AM, Blogger Serra said...

Honey and I have imagined the same thing, often. It's scary--we're figuring one trip a year to explain to the school board why our offspring could even discuss saltpeter, let alone be asking to make gunpowder as a science fair project.

 
At 10:58 AM, Blogger Jamie said...

Why not a girl?

 
At 12:18 PM, Anonymous Bathroom Reading said...

OT: Coming down for sure. Staying in the four seasons. Getting in around 8:30 into Miami. Where to go? I'll give you a call when I get in. Same number as before?

 
At 1:16 PM, Blogger Islandgirl said...

Awwww....but that teacher was SO cute :-)

 
At 2:21 PM, Blogger Paige said...

The picture of the teacher is GREAT! Love it!

 
At 2:29 PM, Blogger A* said...

Don't worry Jaime. I already told him our first was going to be a girl and certifiable hell-on-wheels. Can't wait until he sees little Miss A* in action!

love ya babe! :)

 
At 4:39 PM, Blogger WordWhiz said...

You guys aren't trying to tell us something, are you? Missed doctor appointments? Birth control snafus? Little Hoffin' A*s?

 
At 5:52 PM, Blogger Paige said...

WordWhiz, you may have something there!!!!

 
At 7:34 PM, Blogger Joe said...

Outstanding. Clearly, you've raised Little HofzA well.

 
At 8:11 PM, Blogger Steve said...

HofzA for class president!

 
At 12:27 AM, Blogger VegasGustan said...

Hofza for President of the USA! Sounds like a kid from South Park.

I think A* is right though. You are going to have a girl. Your heart is going to melt. You will create the biggest daddy's girl ever and she will at the same time break and warm your heart the day she falls in love like you are for A*!

 
At 12:28 AM, Blogger VegasGustan said...

Oh, and I want to be a God Parent. If only if everyone else you actually know and have met dies. I understand about that of course.

 
At 8:19 PM, Blogger Kira said...

Hmmm...little devil? Little BLUE devil? *RUNS LIKE HELL before Hof flays her alive and leaves her organs for the vultures to devour*

 
At 10:54 AM, Blogger mcgibfried said...

ah.. the "yer fat" retort...
gets 'em every time!

 

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