*I will sleep

*She invited you back to her place for coffee

*Stealing Internet

*The first things to be bought and sold

*Pile of stuff

*Spiders crawling all over your skin

*Miss Paige, thanks for letting me "sketch you up"!...

*Even more paranoid than normal

*In their dark, but idling, trucks

*Who ARE those guys?


1. I ask you to do one effing thing
2. Did you?
3. The socks betray him
4. There will be none of that
5. Leave notes in his shirt pocket
6. Trained in the gentle art
7. Put me in coach
8. Our species may, in fact, survive
9.Swarm Swarm
10.During the wooing
11.BUT not private enough
12.The bottomless appetite
13.The first time we forget
14.This is a nice litmus test
15.To get the ball rolling
16.She invited you back to her place for coffee
17.Mary Magdalene or Eva Braun
18.It will only smell and make you queasy


   Thursday, August 11, 2005

Before my head cleared

Remember when you were a kid and they said if you died in your dream you will die in real life? I had my heart broken in a dream last night and woke up with a broken heart.

I've talked about what a vivid dreamer I am before. Last night I woke up around 4am crushed. I dreamt that I was over at A*'s parents' place. She came in the front door with a new "friend". As expected, he was younger and much better looking than I (doesn't take much, truth be told).

"Who is that?"

"We need to talk."

We stepped outside. She looked up into my eyes and placed the palm of her hand on my chest.

"I've met someone. I realize now that I need things you can't give me. I'm sorry."

I walked to my truck in a daze and drove off. My cell phone rings. It is her father.

"Dinner's ready, Hof."

"I can't come back. I hope you understand."

"Understand?"

"Ask your daughter. I am no longer a part of her life."

I then woke up with the worst feeling. It felt like congealed tree sap was pumping through my veins. It took me about thirty seconds before I realized it was only a dream. It scared the ever-living shit out of me.

It would be karma justice for her to drop me cold. I've only been dumped twice in my life. I am always the one who does the dropping. Before my head cleared and I sorted reality from dream, the feeling that I had it coming consumed me. I kept thinking, "Nice. That was it. That was your one chance. You met the one who was going to make you happy. You effed it up."

After all is said and done, I'll take a sex dream next time. Please.

there are 16 doodles

At 8:01 AM, Blogger Kira said...

Yes, when you finally get something so precious that you have no words to express it, of course your greatest fear is to lose it. I have had similar dreams...

(Yes, that's right, I had dreams about A* leaving me for you, you bastard, they came true, they came true! *sobs*) ;)

 
At 8:52 AM, Blogger Melanie said...

I'm with kira. Very funny girl.

And Hof, I'm pretty sure she loves you as much as you love her. Don't worry...

 
At 9:26 AM, Blogger Joe said...

Fortunately, it was only a dream. In real life, you guys sound like the perfect fit.

 
At 9:41 AM, Blogger deanne said...

Don't sweat it Hof, it's just an anxiety dream!

Look, last night I dreamt I was trapped in my room with two Komodo Dragons - I'm not sure which is worse!

 
At 10:26 AM, Blogger A* said...

*tearing*

too much to say here. But I can say one thing...

that will NEVER EVER happen.

 
At 11:32 AM, Blogger WordWhiz said...

'Cause that would mean you were gonna have sex, right?

A* said it before I could (and it's more convincing coming from her anyway): That is NOT going to happen!!!

 
At 1:33 PM, Blogger Paige said...

I hate those dreams...I'm a vivid dreamer to, and that one would've had me in a nasty mood ALL day!

 
At 2:36 PM, Blogger allison said...

I've awoken from dreams with tears streaming down my face before. It's amazing what the idle mind can conjure. But at least you know how deep your feelings truly go for A* and that *it* is the real thing (silver lining).

 
At 2:56 PM, Blogger ERL said...

yikes. i had a horrible dream last night too. i hate how they can affect the entire mood of the day.

 
At 4:08 PM, Blogger Islandgirl said...

Sex dreams rock.

I had a dream last night I caught my man snogging an old highschool friend of mine.

Those types of dreams suck.

But how good does it feel when you finally realise it was only a dream...and to have the woman of your dreams tell you it will never happen!

 
At 6:00 PM, Blogger Jesster said...

What's with the dreams people have been having lately? You're not the only one I know who had some bad stuff in the subconscious lately.

I blame the aliens. It's always their fault.

 
At 6:35 PM, Blogger Amber said...

Whne I was first hdating my ex I had these endless dreams of him and his family rejecting me because I wasn't Jewish. They ARE NOT Jewish, but they were rich snobs in my dreams and kept calling me goyem and saying I wouldn't do. It freaked me out. In reality they loved me to peices, for a little while anyway. I wish they had rejected me now but c'est La vie.

I think in your case it's just a worst-case scenario dream - where your subconscious comes up and show you waht you fear most so you can face the fear, realize it's not reality, and move beyond it because it's somehow holding you back.

 
At 11:25 PM, Blogger Jackie said...

Yes, I hope too that you have a good sex dream next time instead, too. Those kind of blood-curdling dreams are not good for anyone.

 
At 11:40 PM, Blogger Firefly said...

i have had dreams just like that... ones of current loves gone bad... and then waking believing it... but rolling over and hugging the hell out of E so that he wakes up and wonders what the hell is wrong!

and even though he lies beside me it still takes a while to shake the feeling.

i dont like those dreams... but i apreciate them... for i wake up and am reminded of what not to take for granted.

aloha, ff

 
At 12:03 AM, Blogger VegasGustan said...

Small world....

My wife woke me up last night from the middle of a dead sleep because she was crying. I had to wake her up, she was crying in her dream and it manifested itself for real. She actually could not stop crying for a few minutes after I woke her up either. She was dreaming that I just confessed to cheating on her. With of all people, "Road Trip's" Amy Smart. Crazy. I apparently would not give her a reason why it started and just told her it was over and walked out. I left my dog and everything. It really messed with her for most of the morning.

 
At 12:16 PM, Blogger Annabanana said...

Hof,

I have read your blog pretty much every day (I need a new job, I know) and yet that does not explain my dream Saturday night. My financee and I had just finished moving into our first house that morning. Everyone was finally gone- boxes were unpacked- the bed was made - and I had finally eaten something for the first time that day. We went to bed and I had the most amazing dream. All I recall was that there was a package on my front doorstep. I brought it in the house while dancing because it was the first package we had received at our new house. I opened it up and it was from YOU! But it gets better because you sent me cookies! They were big chocolate chip cookies. And they were still moist. Well, you also sent a card and in it you wrote that the blogger community is trying a new outreach activity - a blogger is going to send their favorite homemade cookie to another person. I was after you (I was puzzled since I don't have a blog) and I was supposed to bake cookies and send them to the next person on the list.

I woke up very confused- but with a smile.

They were good cookies too.

~Moo's friend, Clem.

 

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