*Never been developed

*Your wife in the copy room

*For now

*Show Your Love

*New experimental feature

*Is gross

*A Beaner Dishwashing Fairy

*Tumbling Dice

*A bitch to paint

*Banned from Halo


1. I ask you to do one effing thing
2. Did you?
3. The socks betray him
4. There will be none of that
5. Leave notes in his shirt pocket
6. Trained in the gentle art
7. Put me in coach
8. Our species may, in fact, survive
9.Swarm Swarm
10.During the wooing
11.BUT not private enough
12.The bottomless appetite
13.The first time we forget
14.This is a nice litmus test
15.To get the ball rolling
16.She invited you back to her place for coffee
17.Mary Magdalene or Eva Braun
18.It will only smell and make you queasy


   Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Get out of our way

I am a registered independent. I hate both of the major parties equally. I always vote but my choices are not based on who will do the best job. I am forced to choose who will do the least amount of damage to me and my lifestyle.

The rhetoric and lies put forth by both parties now cripples our government and makes it ineffective. I actually love that the government has lost its effectiveness. The citizens of this country are better off, as a whole, when government gets less done.
"No man's life, liberty or property are safe while the Legislature is in session." -Gideon J. Tucker
All that being said, I offer some advice to the Republicans and Democrats out there. The advice is conveniently color coded and unranked.

You must drop the elitist persona you emit. You come off as smarter than the people and your language reveals an attitude that you are superior to the common citizen. Never underestimate how smart the common man is and nobody knows better what is good for him or her than... him or her.

Having morals is crucial in your personal and family's success. Don't denigrate your morals by bringing them into the realm of politics. Keep them in the home where they will yield the results they deserve.

You were once the kinder, gentler party. You've become the bitter and angry party. It was better for you when the elephants looked like the herd on the rampage.

Issues must be simplified in order to be resolved. You tend to oversimplify (which is fine). Stop pretending that the oversimplification is the truth. Never forget it is, in reality, a lot more complicated.

Government is not the savior. Government is not our parent. Everything the government touches turns to shit. Don't look to the government to solve anything. Stop acting like the government can make anything better for anyone.

Government is not the savior. Government is not our parent. Everything the government touches turns to shit. Don't look to the government to solve anything. Stop acting like the government can make anything better for anyone.

Let people live their lives and teach your family how you want them to live theirs. Do not look to government to legislate lifestyles. This only works in the home when it is you doing the legislation.

Stop letting the crazies in your party appear to be speaking for you (i.e. Michael Moore, Howard Dean, Ted Kennedy, etc)

Stop letting the crazies in your party appear to be speaking for you (i.e. Pat Robertson, Ann Coulter, etc)

Heterosexual white men are not responsible for all the evils in this country.

Gay black women are not responsible for all the evils in this country.

If you leave people alone and stop trying to help them by making their decisions for them they will be better off. You don't know better than they do.

If you leave people alone and stop trying to raise their families for them they will raise better families. You don't know what is right for them better than they do.

Throwing money at poverty only makes sure that it won't go away. Don't replace or hinder the only solution for poverty; let business flourish and create jobs where hard work has a chance of bringing rewards.

You use to be the fiscally conservative party. How about trying that out again.

Stop trying to build your party by tearing down the other. Your only chance of ever getting control of Washington again depends on you starting to stand for something again. You stand for nothing now. You are the party of pointing a finger and yelling, "THEY ARE EVIL". Start being the party of "We are...."

Bush is not always right nor is he always righteous. He has fucked up before and will fuck up again. Like you and all the presidents before him, he is human.

Bush is not always wrong nor is he evil. He has done some good things before and will do some more good things in the future. Like you and all the presidents before him, he is human.

If two people love each other leave them the fuck alone. Trust people to live their own lives.

If someone earns a dollar stop taking it from them and giving them 50-cents back. Trust people to know how to spend their own money.

Liberals, gays, Hollywood and the Jews don't have a secret society that runs the country.

Exxon, Haliburton and the NRA don't have a secret society that runs the country.

God will decide our fate and you have no clue how God thinks.

The government is not God.

Shut the fuck up and get out of our way.

Shut the fuck up and get out of our way.

there are 6 doodles

At 10:32 AM, Blogger allison said...

Amen and halleluia - leave us the fuck alone. :)

 
At 2:44 PM, Blogger WordWhiz said...

ONE of the fatal flaws of the current system is that, to get elected in the primaries, you need to appeal only to your party. Because of that, candidates campaign WAY to the right or WAY to the left. The vast majority of the electorate do NOT vote that way. Most of us cannot be force-fed the entirety of the party-line. We pick and choose our issues - often times from both sides of the political fence. That means, in order to get elected in a general election, a candidate has to abandon his hard-ass party line immediately after the primaries and begin trying to appeal to those of us who straddle the fence. The need to move their platform toward the center, while not offending their base of extremists. It's a balancing act and it's stupid. The political heads would like you to think that MOST of us stick firmly to our party affiliations, but in my opinion, that's simply not the case. Yes, the moral majority will ALWAYS vote Republican and the ultra-liberals will ALWAYS vote Democrat. But except for the pockets of voters who fall into the category of extremist in one way or another, most of us cherry-pick our issues and distribute our votes accordingly.

But then, I'm must better at seeing the problem than I am at envisioning the solution, and what good is there in that??

Good post!

 
At 8:48 AM, Blogger Cyrus said...

"Liberals, gays, Hollywood and the Jews don't have a secret society that runs the country."

Umm...actually Hof, we do. And Jon Stewart is our leader.

 
At 9:01 AM, Blogger hofzinser said...

Well, now the statement is true because it is no longer a "secret" society.

Nice one. Way to out the cabal.

Also, I am not sure Stewart is your best choice as a leader. He lives in NY (not Hollywood), he is straight (married to a gal) and I would argue he is not a liberal.

Now go find yourself a good Jewish gay liberal in the 90038 zip code and work on keeping your yap shut.

 
At 12:37 AM, Blogger Cyrus said...

Comrade Stewart was the logical choice for several reasons:

1. Obviously, no one in Hollywood, or LA for that matter, could have possibly been suitable as a leader. A New Yorker was clearly needed.

2. I can't imagine how Comrade Stewart could be painted as anything but the dictionary definition of a liberal. He may not be a neo-lib...but that's a post in itself.

3. And, while the Hof may not be in touch with Jon's overwhelming hotness...Comrade Stewart leads the gays like a dreamy salt-and-pepper haired pied-piper.

 
At 8:45 AM, Blogger bornfool said...

That was awesome, Hof.

 

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