*Visiting at all hours

*Which of you are up to it?

*I've met her

*Real discourse

*Mary Magdalene or Eva Braun

*So it goes (and an update on the BIQ)

*You already know what HofSnark thinks.

*Why, you ask?

*Words and passion

*Aint so bad

1. I ask you to do one effing thing
2. Did you?
3. The socks betray him
4. There will be none of that
5. Leave notes in his shirt pocket
6. Trained in the gentle art
7. Put me in coach
8. Our species may, in fact, survive
9.Swarm Swarm
10.During the wooing
11.BUT not private enough
12.The bottomless appetite
13.The first time we forget
14.This is a nice litmus test
15.To get the ball rolling
16.She invited you back to her place for coffee
17.Mary Magdalene or Eva Braun
18.It will only smell and make you queasy

   Thursday, September 22, 2005


Apparently my new neighbor is an immigrant (fucking borders are as tight as a women after being on Road Rules).

How do I know?

She does not speak a lick of English. She is a ham for the camera, though... (see right --->)

I tried everything!

"What is your name?"
Wat is uw naam?
Quel est votre nom ?
Was ist Ihr Name?
Ποιο είναι το όνομά σας;
Che cosa è il vostro nome?
Будет вашим именем?
¿Cuál es su nombre?

I even tried

Atwhay isay ouryay uckingfay amenay?

I got nothing. SO....

That is cause for a CONTEST! Name my neighbor, the Golden Silk Spider... I'll get the winner something from Amazon. All entries must be in (comments) by noon EST Tuesday 9/27.

Who will win? Could it be you?

Not if you don't play... comment while you can.

No limits to entries, btw.

I need something to call her when I'm out there smoking and she's having dinner. No reason to be rude....

there are 35 doodles

At 5:42 PM, Blogger Autumn said...

How about Misty Moon Face?
Nico Windsong?
Echo Tyler?
Rhiannon (Goddess of the Isle - which her web seems to similate)

At 7:30 PM, Blogger VegasGustan said...

I love this freakin' post! Even if I don't win, this is one of my favorite posts of all time. Thanks.

First name that comes to mind is...


It just seems fitting for some reason.

At 7:31 PM, Blogger Kira said...

Name her Elena Rosa De Los Angeles Martinez Khun, after my grandmother. Yeah, that's a good one...

At 9:15 PM, Blogger Mesabi Red ;) said...

There's always Arachne for the Greek mythology bit or how about "be glad that I'm at least not venomous even though I'm still really goosebump-inducing" or "I make people happy they live in Minnesota where spiders are MUCH smaller" or just "arana" (pronounced aranya) which is spanish for spider but has a nice sound to it

At 9:37 PM, Blogger Serra said...

Speaking of MooCow...


At 9:44 PM, Blogger Dan said...

Charlotte? Too obvious... unless you get a pig.

How about Sophia (She is, after all, a golden girl... so I guess Rose, Blanche or Dorothy would also fit)

Once A* comes to visit, I think you'll be calling her "History".

At 9:45 PM, Blogger Dan said...

Oh and PS - That is one HUGE CREEPY FUCKING Spider.
I am SO never coming to visit.

At 10:00 PM, Blogger allison said...

How about Jesus AndFuckingMaryThatIsABigSpider.

At 10:45 PM, Blogger VegasGustan said...

Another MooCow one, how 'bout Thumper?

She kind of looks a Charlize too.

At 7:49 AM, Blogger bornfool said...

Looks likd a "Talyn" to me.

At 8:03 AM, Blogger WendyKat said...

oh holy crap that is a giant fucking spider... as much as i hate hurting animals... i would either wreck her web and send her scurrying away from me, or worse, i'd get a flamethrower and evict her bodily...

yuck.. yuck.. yuck.

but yea, i would name her "bunny" so moocow would be able to refer to her without flipping out.

At 10:09 AM, Blogger AnonymousCoworker said...

Englebert Humperdink?

At 10:32 AM, Blogger A* said...


Priscilla Queen of Deck.

Or something.

At 10:33 AM, Blogger A* said...

But yeah, she'll be "History" in about...3 1/2 weeks

At 11:45 AM, Blogger Nics said...

Dulcet Dolly?

At 11:55 AM, Blogger babblingdweeb said...

Shannon the man eating spider.

At 3:34 PM, Blogger Mel said...


okay, i'll go think of something else...*slinks away*

At 3:36 PM, Blogger Mel said...

or "Silky"?

okay, okay, i KNOW...so NOT original...i'm leaving now...promise;)

At 1:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Memorable Quotes from
Gone with the Wind:

Scarlett: Atlanta.
Mammy: Savannah would be better for ya. You just get in trouble in Atlanta.
Scarlett: What trouble you talkin' 'bout?
Mammy: You know what trouble I's talkin' 'bout. Mr. Ashley be comin' to Atlanta when he get's his leave, and you sattin' there waitin' for him, just like a spider.
Scarlett: You go pack my things like Mother said!

Name the spider Scarlett!!!

signed, Sister :-)

At 10:49 AM, Blogger Mel said...

I'd have to agree with "Sister", Scarlet sounds perfect! Dammit I wanted to win!!!;)

At 2:15 PM, Anonymous christina said...

I was going to suggest Charlotte, but alas, I'm not quick enough.

At 2:42 PM, Blogger lauritajuanitasanchez said...


At 3:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well I have a ton of names for you to choose from. ... How about Ms. Chambers? .. Big C .. Autumn Rose .. CreepyAssBitch? ...

I'm not sure that I would be "visiting" with her while I'm smoking unless I had a big ole' can of Raid in the free hand going full blast.

At 8:50 PM, Blogger Amber said...

Mercy - as in mercy that's a big ass spider
Raider - as in I'd raid her ass I hate spiders - allergic to their bites
I'm so glad she's at your place I'd be having nightmares if she was here.

Goldie - why not?

At 9:30 PM, Blogger VegasGustan said...

Ma or Sophia

She is a Golden Girl After All. Well, sorta.


At 10:12 PM, Blogger A* said...

Sis got it! Even though I thought mine was fabulous. (And it still is) But I [heart] Scarlett!

At 10:33 AM, Blogger VegasGustan said...


I demand a recount!

I want justice!

Atica! Atica! Atica!

That is the second time I've used those words this week.

At 9:17 PM, Blogger Kira said...

...but A*, darling, how can you KILL Scarlet then? ;)

At 12:09 PM, Blogger A* said...

Kira- I wouldn't kill Scarlett!!

*attempts to look shocked*

I am going to treat her to a nice long vacation.

Yeah, that's it. A vacation.

Like, um, Shady Pines.

At 6:39 PM, Blogger Murk said...


She's beautiful.

I think she should be named Princess. But then in Portuguese or something, because, obviously, just Princess is not very interesting. On the other hand, it might work. Or maybe somebody knows how to say "She Who Bites Off The Head Of Her Lovers After Mating" in some native american/amazonian indian language. Dunno, somehow, she strikes me as Brazilian.

And on a lighter (and infinitely cheekier) note: hopefully I'll have some stills from my latest video soon up on my blog too. Lotsa spiders in that one. Up as soon as I have enough money for a new friggin FireWire-cable.

At 6:44 PM, Blogger Murk said...

...and I only just noticed the deadline. Ah well.

At 9:37 PM, Blogger WordWhiz said...

My first thought was Charlotte, after the book. However, Scarlotte is awafully close and some of these other names are mightly creative. Damn...I wish I were more creative!! 31 comments! Clearly people who read your blog like FREE STUFF!!

How about FREEBIE?

At 12:08 AM, Blogger MooCow said...

Can you put something new up so I can stop disabling pictures before I come here?

At 4:56 AM, Blogger GrizzlyChicken said...

My guess is Dalmationfacedpiginablanketthoraxwiththistlelegs.. so basically Dalfacepigblanketaxthistlegs.. or just frightening freak.

At 10:46 AM, Blogger deanne said...

A*: "This vacation is sponsored by Black Flag and RAID!"


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