This is the seventeenth installment in the "Why do Men...?" series inspired from comments on this post.
The always frank Kira asked: Why are men so fascinated with bodily functions? I'm not talking about sex, either. I'm talking about passing gas, belching, and how big the turd is that they just put in the bathroom. And the hard, cold fact that it has to be announced, relished, and appreciated. "OH HONEY, you just GOTTA see this one! It's TREMENDOUS!"
We men love to build and create things.
I call it womb-envy.
You ladies are the ultimate terrestrial creators. Your body produces friggin life. We will never be able to do that (maybe I should never say never).
How do we men compensate for this? We build and create. We make pyramids, parthenons, skyscrapers and bridges. Some of us make levees and some are not so good at it. We are in a constant species-long quest to create something CLOSE to as grand as what you ladies can create as bodily function.
Which brings us to the heart of your question.
We cannot excrete babies form our orifices. We can fart, burp, cum and lay logs the size of a coiled slinky. Do these compare to a baby? Of course not... so humor us.
"Sweetie, was that you?"
*and high-five him*
Trust me, you will be known far and wide among his boys as the coolest fucking wife/girlfriend since Mary Magdalene or Eva Braun.