*Will be the game

*Get over it and try this

*Open letter that he will never read

*Actually get nothing done

*All coming together

*Get your geek on

*Solid night's sleep

*Terror on the green felt


*You (almost) know

1. I ask you to do one effing thing
2. Did you?
3. The socks betray him
4. There will be none of that
5. Leave notes in his shirt pocket
6. Trained in the gentle art
7. Put me in coach
8. Our species may, in fact, survive
9.Swarm Swarm
10.During the wooing
11.BUT not private enough
12.The bottomless appetite
13.The first time we forget
14.This is a nice litmus test
15.To get the ball rolling
16.She invited you back to her place for coffee
17.Mary Magdalene or Eva Braun
18.It will only smell and make you queasy

   Tuesday, January 17, 2006

'cause Uncle Hof said so

I present to you a classic game I first played in college. If you are a Howard Stern fan, you know how to play.

The game is "Marry, Fuck, Kill".

Here is how it is played....

I present you with three names. You must decide which one you would marry, which one you would fuck and which one you would kill. Please leave your answers in a comment on this post.

BTW, don't give lame answers like "I would kill myself" or "I'm already married". If you can't play by the rules then lurk.

For the ladies... Three sets of three. For each set (that means do all three) please tell us who you would marry, who you would kill and who you would fuck then let us know why...

Ladies set #1
Harrison Ford
Bruce Willis
George Clooney

Ladies set #2
Ethan Hawke
Collin Farrell
Keanu Reeves

Ladies set #3
Michael Jackson
Rosie O'Donnell
Marilyn Manson

Same thing for the boys:

Men set #1
Martha Stewart
Joan Rivers
Kathy Bates

Men set #2
Bridget Nielson
Liza Minneli
Rosanne Barr

Men set #3
Jennifer Garner
Kate Hudson
Liv Tyler

Follow the rules, kids, 'cause Uncle Hof said so.

there are 11 doodles

At 5:00 PM, Blogger Two Drink Girl said...

Harrison Ford-Marry, he seems like a keeper
Bruce Willis-Kill, I hate all his movies and his acting I'm less than thrilled with
George Clooney-Fuck, he's a player, might was well join the game!

Ladies set #2
Ethan Hawke-Marry...if he was good enough for Uma he's good enough for me.
Collin Farrell-Kill...don't have anything against him, but hey
Keanu Reeves-Fuck...shhh, don't say anything, just have sex with me.

Ladies set #3
Michael Jackson-Fuck...something tells me he needs a good fucking.
Rosie O'Donnell-Marry...she's already proved she great with kids!
Marilyn Manson-Kill...he brings nothing to the table, ya know what I mean?

At 8:04 PM, Blogger Kira said...

Ok, here we go!

Set one...rough since I prefer younger men at this point...but let's try!

Harrison Ford--marry. I always found him appealing since his Han Solo days.

Bruce Willis--fuck. I guess between the two remaining, I'd find BW more fuckable than GC simply based on what I find physically appealing. I certainly wouldn't want to marry the bastard because then I'd be stuck with him.

George Clooney--well, kill. And that's sad because I have nothing against him.

Ok, on to set two!

Colin Farrel--fuck RAW. *coughs*

Ethan Hawke--marry.

Keanu Reeves--kill, but once again I wince making the choice. I have nothing against the fellow. He's just the one left, and I'd rather wake up looking at Ethan Hawke every day than Keanu.

Set three

KILL KILL KILL MICHAEL JACKSON...I know that in America, we say everybody's innocent until proven guilty, and he's not been proven guilty yet. However, my spidey senses tell me he's a pedophile freak, and hey, that makes me actually OK with killing him.

Rosie O'Donnell--I could marry her. Well, not in SC. People would ask me, "Why did you marry Rosie?" I'd reply, "Because she makes me laugh."

Marylin Manson--fuck. He really holds no fuckablilty with me, but hey, why not? I've never fucked a total freak before in my life. That'd be novel.

At 8:34 PM, Blogger ERL said...

marry: george clooney (although that might prove difficult)

fuck: bruce willis

kill: harrison ford

Marry: Ethan Hawke
Fuck: Colin Farrell
Kill (OVER AND OVER): Keanu Reeves

#3. (oh my god this is evil)
Marry: Rosie O'Donnell
Fuck: Marilyn Manson (only if EXTREMELY DRUNK)
Kill: Michael Jackson

At 8:53 PM, Blogger Dan said...

Marry Clooney, Fuck Bruce, Kill Harrison (Did you see him last night on the Globes? Han Solo got OLD)

Marry Colin Farrell (Constant Farrell sex till the end of time! Woo!), Fuck Ethan, Kill Keanu

Mary Marilyn Manson (If only to see what the wedding turns out like), Do Rosie (*shudder* Think of marriage to Colin...Marriage...To...Colin....Dan Farrell....)
Kill Jacko. Revive him. Repeat. Possibly make it floor show at Dan/Marilyn Manson wedding

At 10:19 PM, Blogger Malnurtured Snay said...

Man these are tricky.


Men set #1
Martha Stewart - marry
Joan Rivers - fuck
Kathy Bates - kill

Men set #2
Bridget Nielson - marry
Liza Minneli - kill
Rosanne Barr - fuck

Men set #3
Jennifer Garner - kill
Kate Hudson - marry
Liv Tyler - fuck

At 6:41 AM, Blogger Nics said...

Harrison Ford: I'd kill him. He just doesn't appeal to me in any way.
Bruce Willis: I'd marry him and let my friend Wallace torture him with Die Hard quotes and questions
George Clooney - I suppose I'd have to fuck him because of my previous choices, nothing to do with Ocean's Eleven whatsoever.

Ethan Hawke - I'd rather fuck him than Colin Farrell
Colin Farrell - kill him because you just don't know where he's been and he's come a long way from Ballykissangel!
Keanu Reeves - I'd marry him. I may gag him from time to time but I'd still marry him.

Michael Jackson - I'd marry him just so I could stop him from destroying all the music he bought the rights to.
Rosie O'Donnell - kill because we don't get her talkshow over here and I didn't like her in Another Stakeout
Marilyn Manson - fuck because his ex-girlfriends haven't complained.

At 8:18 AM, Blogger Mel said...

Ladies set #1
Harrison Ford - damn! i don't really want to kill him, but i wouldn't fuck him and surely wouldn't marry him. so i gotta kill indiana jones.
Bruce Willis - marry him. he's sweet, funny and sexy, plus he's already had kids, so you know he'd be great with yours.
George Clooney - fuck him...

Ladies set #2
Ethan Hawke - fuck him. he has his moments of attractiveness.
Collin Farrell - kill him. need i say more.
Keanu Reeves - marry him. he's not a great actor, but i think he's adorable and there's a sweetness about him that i like.

Okay, now this shit's evil right here...
Ladies set #3
Michael Jackson - kill him. that's an easy one.
Rosie O'Donnell - my god, if i marry her do i still have to have sex with her?
Marilyn Manson - i'd fuck him, but only if he was the only person available and i was completely desperate. but jeez! don't TELL anybody!

At 8:22 AM, Blogger Melina said...

Set 1. Marry Bruce, I think he's hot. Kill Harrison, he's old and gross now...give him to me back when he was Han Solo and then maybe and fuck George Clooney, I think I could wipe the smug look off his face.

Set 2. Fuck Keanu...I want to know if he moans monotonely. Kill Ethan, I HATE cheaters and marry Colin Ferrel because he's hot and we could get loaded and then he'd probably cheat on me...oh boy.

Set 3. Fuck Michael (eww did I just say that?) Kill Rosie, because I hate her, I hate Tom Cruise and she's just obnoxious and I would marry Marilyn Manson...his real life wife is a cool burlesque queen so I think I could handle that!

At 8:10 PM, Blogger VegasGustan said...

I automatically collapsed the comments, so I would not be tempted to follow another's lead. Here goes:

I would marry Martha Stewart right off the bat. She is a great cook and has a crap load of money. Even if I sign a prenub I would still be set for life. Hell, J.Lo's ex never has to work a day in his life.
I would kill Joan Rivers. If anyone else says any different, then I question their sanity. She is the most god-forsaken annoying person this side of Kathy Griffin. Plus, she is just scary looking. I would fuck Kathy Bates, but only because I respect her body of work...

I would have to marry Rosanne Barr, she is the only one in the group who does not have totally fucked up taste in men. I mean Tom Arnold is a fucking dumb shit, but that ain't so bad.
I would fuck Bridget Nielson. However, I would double bag it and then take a hot enough shower to cause first degree burns over my body. That way I would feel a bit cleaner.
I would kill Liza for one reason...and that reason has five words...Arthur 2: On the Rocks. 'Nuff said.

Set #3
I would marry her in a heart beat. Of course, she would have to wear the red outfit from Elektra or dress up in the costumes from Alias on a regular basis...that way the fanatasy always remains. She is the hottest "girl next door/nerd" ever.
I'd fuck Kate Hudson, but only if Jennifer was with me. I would not want to lose Mrs. Collins-Garner over fucking some decently hot ass.
I would kill Liv Tyler, basically because the other two are hotter in my opinion and I have to kill someone. Plus, One Night at McCool's sucked major donkey cock.

Your turn, HOF!

At 5:47 AM, Blogger Dancinfairy said...

Harrison Ford - Kill
Bruce Willis - Marry
George Clooney - Fuck

Ethan Hawke - Fuck
Colin Farrell - Kill
Keanu Reeves - Marry (only option left)

Michael Jackson - Kill
Rosie O'Donnell - Marry
Marilyn Manson - Fuck

Fun game!

At 12:01 PM, Blogger Amber said...

Ladies set #1
Harrison Ford - kill
Bruce Willis - marry
George Clooney - fuck

Ladies set #2
Ethan Hawke - kill (NEVER liked him)
Collin Farrell - fuck
Keanu Reeves - marry

Ladies set #3
Michael Jackson - kill
Rosie O'Donnell - marry
Marilyn Manson - fuck


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