*A large litter of devout fans

*New increased trend?

*Beyond the bling

*Took the torch and made it brighter

*The last of the carnage....

*The Carnage Continues!

*Its all love


*Nothing new to their craft

*Final Nominee List

1. I ask you to do one effing thing
2. Did you?
3. The socks betray him
4. There will be none of that
5. Leave notes in his shirt pocket
6. Trained in the gentle art
7. Put me in coach
8. Our species may, in fact, survive
9.Swarm Swarm
10.During the wooing
11.BUT not private enough
12.The bottomless appetite
13.The first time we forget
14.This is a nice litmus test
15.To get the ball rolling
16.She invited you back to her place for coffee
17.Mary Magdalene or Eva Braun
18.It will only smell and make you queasy

   Wednesday, April 05, 2006

The Karma Bank is tracking your balance

An open letter the inconsiderate, self-absorbed, money-obsessed, shallow fucks that often call South Florida home:

Dear You,

I've tolerated you for six years. Why? I always make the best of my current situation. I had to be here for work so I dealt with you. I watched as you parked, blocking others in, with no regard for the people sharing your air because somehow you think you alone did not have to use a parking space.

I watched as you treated retail employees, waiters, bartenders, waitresses and busboys as your personal servants who were blessed that you slummed it enough to even talk to them. You yelled, bitched, demeaned and ridiculed them. Sometimes I said something; usually I just shook my head in disgust.

I watched you women blatantly hunt and track men based on the number of zeros at the end of their bank balance. Most women (if they admit it or not) are attracted by power. You had no shame and wore this attraction on your forehead and never looked beyond that. You whore yourself the highest bidder and deserve the type of men that allow you into their lives.

I watched you men blatantly hunt and track women based on the size of their breasts, the distance between their pant waist line and the crack of their ass and how close they matched the chick on the latest cover of FHM. Women were nothing but a seed receptacle that you can treat however you pleased as long as you made your car lease payment on time every month. You did not seek a relationship, you sought an accessory to go with your wheels, clothes and pool. Most men (if they admit it or not) are attracted by looks. You had no shame and wore this attraction on your forehead and never looked beyond that. You allowed the grubby bitches into your life and firmly placed their fangs on your jugular. You got exactly the type of women you deserved.

I am out before the end of the month you assholes and bitches... and I will miss you not. I leave you here to feed on each other knowing the Karma Bank is tracking your balance.

For those that live in this shit pile lightly dusted with sun, palm trees and ocean views who are not like the above but are still trapped here... I will miss you.

I will miss you and.... GET THE FUCK OUT before their disease alters how you know the world does and should work.


there are 7 doodles

At 9:20 PM, Anonymous christina said...

Amen, my south Floridan friend.
That's why I high-tailed it outta there. Besides, who wants to be from a town called Jupiter?

At 3:05 PM, Blogger VegasGustan said...

Vegas...the South Florida of the West. If only I could move too.....

At 5:50 PM, Blogger Melina said...

wow, I knew I hated FL for a reason...I think you just gave me ninety more of them :)

At 9:33 AM, Blogger Cyrus said...

Ah, South Florida...the sunny, sunny place for shady, shady people. But it's home.

At 6:48 PM, Blogger Autumn said...

Dang! That was an awesome letter and should go into a public forum like... hmmm.... craigslist!!

Do women REALLY dress like that? I mean, why even wear a tshirt at all?

At 1:18 PM, Blogger WordWhiz said...

So to which group described do those in the photo belong??

At 1:32 PM, Blogger hofzinser said...

Who knows. I just looked through Google Pictures for something that said "South Florida People" to me...


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