*We want


*Of all time

*I then revealed

*Check your ticket

*I give you the gift

*Harvesting the valley

*Island in a drained ocean

*Behind the books

*Keeping the conflicts

1. I ask you to do one effing thing
2. Did you?
3. The socks betray him
4. There will be none of that
5. Leave notes in his shirt pocket
6. Trained in the gentle art
7. Put me in coach
8. Our species may, in fact, survive
9.Swarm Swarm
10.During the wooing
11.BUT not private enough
12.The bottomless appetite
13.The first time we forget
14.This is a nice litmus test
15.To get the ball rolling
16.She invited you back to her place for coffee
17.Mary Magdalene or Eva Braun
18.It will only smell and make you queasy

   Friday, June 30, 2006

The collective human experience

Wow... I asked and I got my answer. After sifting through the hundreds of email suggestions for the next Top Ten List it was obvious you want me to rank...

The Top Ten Most Useless Celebrities

Now I need your nominations. Who is famous yet has no talent, no purpose and does nothing to further the collective human experience? Put your nominations as a doodle comment to this thread.

Get your snark on and tell everyone who YOU think are the Most Useless Celebrities!

Nominees So Far

Ann Coulter [cyrus]
Anna Benson [mo]
Ashlee Simpson [vegasgustan]
Ashton Kutcher [cyrus]
Beyonce [cyrus]
Carson Daly [cyrus]
Clay Aiken [dan]
David Hasselhoff [Allison]
Denise Richards [dan]
Entire Cast of Laguna Beach [dan]
George W. Bush [cyrus]
Hillary Duff [cyrus]
Jennifer Lopez [dan]
Jennifer Love Hewitt [dan]
Jessica Simpson [dan]
Johnny Knoxville [mo]
Katie Holmes [dan]
Kelly Osborne [dan]
Kevin Federline [dan]
Kid Rock [cyrus]
Lindsay Lohan [dan]
Michael Jackson [dan]
Mischa Barton [dan]
Nick Lache [dan]
Nicole Richie [a*]
Olsen Twins [dan]
Owen Wilson [dan]
Paris Hilton [melina]
Rush Limbaugh [cyrus]
Ryan Seacrest [dan]
Shannon Elizabeth [melina]
Sharon Stone [dan]
Sienna Miller [dan]
Star Jones [a*]
Tara Reid [melina]
Tom Cruise [melina]
Tori Spelling [melina]

*the nomination process will remain open for the weekend. submit all nominations before Tuesday, July 4th*

there are 13 doodles

At 9:17 AM, Blogger Melina said...

paris hilton, tom cruise, tara reid,shannon elizabeth, tori spelling

I could do more, but that's my share.

At 11:51 AM, Blogger A* said...

OK I have to disagree with Melina-

Tori Spelling's VH1 show is HI-LARIOUS. She's good at making fun of herself and I like that. Besides she just lost her dad and that totally blows.

PARIS HILTON #1 - Totally useless. Really just a waste of couture and oxygen.

Tara Reid- Waste of perfectly good alcohol. And a REALLY BAD boob job

Nicole Richie - Seriously? Besides being Paris' ex-best friend, Lionel Richie's daughter and the amazing shrinking woman what's her purpose?

Star Jones- From whale to bobble head, and always always so full of herself. Ugh- Thanks Barbara for getting rid of her!!

At 1:52 PM, Blogger VegasGustan said...

Ashlee Simpson, all I got off the top of my head

At 3:18 PM, Blogger Melina said...

I haven't seen NoTORIous yet, so I'll conceed to a* on Tori.

At 6:35 PM, Blogger Dan said...

Jessica Simpson
Lindsay Lohan
The Olsen Twins
Sienna Miller
Kevin Federline
Anyone From Laguna Beach
Ryan Seacrest
Mischa Barton
Denise Richards
Sharon Stone
Michael Jackson
Katie Holmes
Jennifer Love Hewitt
Kelly Osborne
Nick Lache
Clay Aiken (Though he gives Kathy Griffin Material, so he has some use)
Owen Wilson

At 8:13 PM, Anonymous Cyrus said...

1. I have to jump on the "Save Tori" bandwagon...she was great in "House of Yes" and "Trick."

2. Could not agree more with A*'s summarizations.

3. My additions: Ann Coulter, Kid Rock, Beyonce, Carson Daly, Ashton Kutcher, Rush Limbaugh, Hillary Duff, George W. Bush and anyone who raps about being in love with a stripper.

At 10:33 PM, Blogger Mo said...

how big of celebrities are we talkin here? ive got johnny knoxville and anna benson, but theyre only like c list or so.

At 8:43 AM, Blogger The Stiltwalker said...

Star Jones and Tom Cruise get my votes. Oh god and Ryan Seacrest.

At 2:28 PM, Blogger VegasGustan said...

K-Fed, he really should be number one. Really.

At 4:12 PM, Blogger Andy said...

K-Fed is an absolute waste of the collective chemical processes that keep him from perishing! You would think he would be happy just having a parasitic relationship with Brittney Spears. Maybe even having a knowing smile that he is nailin' her. But to be so full of himself, to think he has an ounce of talent... what an absolute idiot!

At 9:06 PM, Blogger Kira said...

So, Andy...you're saying you like him then? ;)

Well, everybody's hit my favorites already. I am not even sure I watch enough TV and such to KNOW more celebs to pull from. I have to agree with A* though that Paris Hilton's gotta be number one. She's only a celeb because of her family money. She's not pretty. She's not talented. She has no capablity except to be annoying. Oh, and flash money.

At 2:56 PM, Blogger allison said...

Oh, thank GOD no one nominated Britney.

I did not see David Hasselhoff on the list though. I'm just sayin'...

At 8:26 PM, Blogger DingDong said...

Ashton Kutcher is funny, at least he tries. I am an US magazine junkie and I am quite qualified to judge who is the most useless:

-Any reality TV "celebrity" (Jen from Batchelor is top of the list followed by Trista and Ryan).
-Paris Hilton
-Tom Cruise - crossed over to the dark side w/ no hope of return
-Paula Abdul
-Kelly O& Jack sborn (Qualify under reality TV)
-Agree with Tara Reid
-Carson from queer eye
-Kelly Preston


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